Better to Have Loved and Lost...?

There's an old saying about it being "better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all."

As a divorced woman, I'm not sure I completely agree. I'm such a romantic. I cry at weddings and get all melty at the idea of undying love. However, I do know I wouldn't trade my wonderful kids for anything. They've brought so much joy into my life and now, their kids add another whole level to my happiness. So I'm very grateful to their dad, because without him I wouldn't have had them in my life.

However to get back to the saying, it's a favorite because it always reminds me of one of my youngest son's kidisms (you know those gems that pop out of kids' mouths).

Since I had split up with his father when this child was only 18 months old (and since his dad lived in another country at the time), my son never really had experienced having a dad around the house. One day, when my son was about three years old, my sister was babysitting for him while I worked (the other two kids were in school at the time). Sis had a talk show on TV about parents. Out of the clear blue, my son looked up from playing with his cars and said, "We used to have a dad, but I think Mom lost him or something."

Then he went back to playing with his cars again.

Oh, the way the gears and wheels turn in the heads of our little ones.

God bless them all!
~ Stephanie

Advice to Take to Heart

I'm really excited - it's been a very productive couple of days for me.

First, I had the pleasure of meeting with my critique partner on Saturday for the first time. We spent about an hour and half reading and talking about each others' manuscripts. She's very dedicated to a writing schedule-slash- goal she set for herself, and I know she'll inspire me to stay on track. Hooray. This may be just the boot in the rear I need to get my story done. Thanks, Patty.

The second thing that's excited me is The Writer's Evolution blog I've been part of for the last few weeks. In last week's post, I bemoaned the problem I have with this infernal editor who lives in my head and keeps yammering at me to polish my prose. One of the writers who reads the blog, Molly Daniels, posted a very succinct comment that really nailed it for me. She said "Don't get it right, get it written!" Believe me, I jotted that quote down and posted it on my desk and in my writer's notebook. When I feel like polishing yet again, I see the note and read it out loud. And it keeps me writing.

All in all, I'd say it's been a good few days.

~ Stephanie

It's a Good Thing My Friends Understand...

I was sitting at my writing desk tonight, looking at my bookshelf, and wondered what an ordinary person might think if they wandered into my home office and saw the titles crammed into my bookcase there.

I suppose they might consider four different versions of English dictionaries, two thesauruses (is that a word?), and the Encyclopeadia Brittanica showed a somewhat exaggerated enthusiasm for reference books. But what about the other titles?

Would Stephen Cohle's Skeletons in the Closet and Louis Catalide's Coroner's Journal cause the cable repairman to look at me askance? Would titles like Deadly Doses or The Encyclopedia of Poisonous Plants or a slim little volume called Making Crime Pay send a snoopy neighbor running to report me to the police? What about Creating Murder and Mayhem or maybe the one called Planning the Perfect Crime? Might those put a damper on a visit from a co-worker? Then there's those magazine jackets holding copies of Handgun Digest and all the catalogs from various International knife and weapons dealers. Last, let's not forget my scrapbook with the carefully preserved articles from the local newspaper about various crimes committed here over the the last couple of decades. Would those items make you look for the nearest exit, too?

Okay, I admit it, reading over the list just now has even creeped me out just a little, and it's my office for goodness sake. However, before any of you reach for the phone to call your local FBI office to report me, I invite you to look a little closer.

Interspersed with all those ominous titles are other books like: The Gregg Reference Manual; MLA Style Book; How to Write a Damn Good Mystery; A Writer's Guide to Private Eyes; and dozens of others writing books. There's also a book of baby names (good for coming up with character names); biographies of a couple favorite writers and authors; and even a dog-eared copied of Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul.

Yes, I am a writer, a mystery writer. On weekends, vacations, evenings, and the occasional stolen lunch hour, I cook up ways to "make crime pay." My writer's library is heavy on reference books about every aspects of genre, aiding me in my search for the perfect crime. My friends know it. They keep their eyes open for unusual books I may not yet own. I'm grateful for that and for them.

Afterall, you never know when you might need a good character witness! LOL!

Talk to you soon,
~ Stephanie

The Three Sweetest Words A Mother Can Hear

As I wrote in my blog the other day, this has really been the Summer That Never Was here in Michigan. June was cold. July was the second coldest on record. August was cold and rainy. It just wasn't our typical summer filled with long days of fun in the sun.

We never got the sweltering heat of July or August's Dog Days this year. Instead, kids were cooped up inside much of the time due to rain or cold temperatures. Moms (or sitters) had to find things to counter their perpetual complaints that "there's nothing to do." A summer like this makes for irritable kids and frazzled adults.

But recently, the moms in my neighborhood have been looking much happier. They actually laugh as they talk across the fence or as they stand in line at the grocery store. They share amusing stories of little Suzi using perfume to wash the dog or junior breaking the lamp when he and his buddy decided to play football in the family room.

So, what's caused this strange metamorphosis from scolding and frazzled to relaxed and happy? It's those three magical words that quickly make mom forgive and forget. What are the words that set her heart aflutter, restored her good temper, and put that smile on her lips?

Back to School!

And it's coming soon to a school district near you! LOL!

Have a great Labor Day weekend.
~ Stephanie

Isn't It Great?

For those of you who visited this blog previously, welcome back. If you were expecting the old blog -- think pastel beach scenes and Cape Cod lighthouses -- this new design might come as a bit of a surprise. I wasn't really satisfied with the previous design; it was much too pastel and beach book looking, which really isn't my style of writing. So why did I use it? Simple, it was what was available on the Blogger site when I started.

However, as of today, thanks to the effort of my multi-talented daughter, I have this much more suitable blog design. She researched and tried out several very nice options this afternoon before hitting on this one. I'm very happy with it and think it suits a working writer much better. Thanks, Brynn.

I hope you agree. I also hope you'll return and visit me often.

Oh, just an FYI, I debut on the Writer's Evolution blog tomorrow as their new Slushpile Surfer (I sure hope I have as good of luck as the last two did with getting books published). Keep your fingers crossed for me. Tomorrow's article is a brief peek at how I design my heroines.

Got to run now and get some real writing done now.

Y'all come back now, ya hear,
Stephanie

The Summer That Never Was

Doesn't that sound like a great title for kids' book? Maybe with some wonderful Tim Robbins illustrations. Wouldn't you like to read it to your kids or grandkids?

So would I....I just prefer not to experience it.

Unfortunately, The Summer That Never Was is exactly what this summer has been in Michigan. Usually, about now, we'd be complaining about August heat and humidity, days like steam baths and nights too hot to sleep. This year, those "dog days of summer" are more like polar bear days. Cold, cold, and more cold. Brr!

Today, it reached a whopping 61 degrees. All day long, we've had a drizzle so fine it looks more like snow than rain. I'm typing this wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks.

Pass me another blanket, Nanook.

Talk to you soon!
~ Stephanie

Insomnia-R-Us

Okay, I know writers march to a different drummer than some of the rest of our friends. We drink lots of coffee, we work whenever the muse whispers in our ear, and we view the world around us with a more curious eye than some of our -- um -- saner friends.

But what do you do when the muse isn't whispering in your ear, you haven't been drinking coffee, and yet it's two a.m. and you're wide awake?

Well for me, after I groan "I'm going to hate myself in the morning," I usually will go on the Internet and do any number of things to waste time. Sometimes I play a computer game, sometimes I browse the FBI website (yes, I admit it, I'm a cop groupie - see the picture of me at the Civilian Police Academy below?), I can spend lots of time catching up with friends on Facebook, or I can do something constructive and post on my blog.

So here I am, two a.m. and here's my blog entry. Aren't you impressed?

Wishing you and yours, a good night. Sleep safe tonight, the boys in blue are watching over you.

~ Stephanie

P.S. - Yes, Chief Dolan really is that tall and no, I'm not really that short -- I had on 2" heels.